pyrostinger: They say the eye is the window to the soul (Default)
pyrostinger ([personal profile] pyrostinger) wrote2012-07-27 07:48 pm

Random Story Escapades #16: SHUN!

We all know that school can be a harsh place, especially since all the students link themselves together and form little cliques and what not.  But the thing that really, really bugged me about this story is how apparently the main character, a rabbit, is so utterly and deliberately anathema. It's driven home with paragraphs of whispered innuendo and slander, and everybody has some reason to hate or otherwise heap disdain upon her.  She's a slut, she's poor, and even the poor kids think she's mockable because she isn't earning money by catering to the rich kids.  Now, OBVIOUSLY the idea is to set her up as some kind of outsider/loner type, but point is driven into the ground and then all the way to China.  Everybody hates her?  Everybody finds some reason to mock this character?  Not a single person is even on the side of indifference? 

Well, there's the other main character: some creepyish exotic(?) cat that likes to hang out in abandoned chapels and trade intelligence on how to survive in the school for sexual favors.  And honestly, I think this dude is doing a crappy job and this shunned student should get her proverbial money back.  Maybe it's me, but I think part of surviving in school would definitely mean not having practically the entire student body mock you for some reason, not just doing good in class.  Though APPARENTLY there's some fishy stuff going on behind the scenes, involving detention and certain teachers that the school and possibly parents are complicit in, so I'm left to wonder what kind of fetish-laden faculty this is.  Then again, this is PORN, so...

There is another thing that this story does that kinda gets on my nerves.  It goes between the two perspectives of loner bunny and creeper cat, yet makes a hard break when switching between the two.  Often, but not always, this makes for a story that ends up repeating itself, which avid readers of this blog know is one of my pet peeves.  Personally, I think the story would have worked much better had there not been such hard breaks and instead it worked from either a third person omniscient or limited to loner bunny, who seems to have the more pertinent storyline. 

As some final thoughts, I will award points to the writer for highlighting the animal aspects of the characters so they just aren't humans with fur coats.  Also, creeper cat: you're kinda doing sodomy wrong.  The writer shouldn't reward you for this.